Surely Goodness and Mercy shall follow me al the days of my life

I am so thankful to be working. Yes, I have a full time job. i just started this week and I think I will really like it. I must say I started having doubts that God really was looking out for me, but then i went into the house of the Lord and an older brother in Christ relaly encouraged me to use this time to spend with Jesus and to cultivate that relationship. Of course I knew I actually had more than enough time b/c I was only doing an after school program, but forsome reason I just ignored it and did what i wanted to do. Somewhere deep down I believe that I was holding out on God b/c he did not bless me, or what I consider blessing. I realized that I truly was finding my identity in the fact that if I did not work I was a loser and if I did then I had some type of significance. I am sure I know where that came from, but besides that I had to nip that in the bud and go to God and be like for real this is how I am feeling but I know I need you and I really don't trust that you got my back. i said something to that effect I am sure. Anyway that was just last Thursday. Saturday I had a job, I was like wow, really God are you serious. man surrender is bitter sweet, but so much more sweet and necessary than bitter. God never changes he never has left me, and he never will. I cannot live in fear, he is not witholding anything good from those who walk uprightly. Surely I belive .