Judgmental Comments❌ Listen First ✅ Embrace Empathy and Understanding!

Endo has been such a pain in my assets!!!

 It's hard not to talk about endometriosis and not be graphic. I mean it is a medical issue specifically triggered because our our menstrual cycle. People cringe when I tell them after they ask. After centuries of our menstrual cycle being a part of the miracle of producing future generations we still can't talk about it socially. As normal and regular this process is endometriosis is everything but that. I am providing this visual as a brief explanation of what many go through. 

Although my version is considered a bit more graphic I will just say I was so happy when they came up with  this diagnosis. The puzzle pieces were finally coming together.

Rinse and Repeat (Cycles)

 Not again! I am looking back at my old blog posts and thinking, "wait this is where I am right now". 

I don't know how I feel about seeing stuff I wrote 12 years ago and having the same struggles today. I don't even remember the context. But every word hits like I wrote it today. I'm disappointed. That's how I feel, like I let myself down. Have I not learned? Have I been stagnant? 

Wait is this my wilderness journey? Am I being stiff-necked like the Israelites?

The pastor today was speaking about immediate necessary changes that is a part of seasons. What resonated with me was when he said how some people get upset with God because they want a warning before the change. Those people pout, complain or even turn back because what is known has been replaced with the unfamiliar. That does not feel good always. It can feel like chaos in your own body when things change too quickly. What I really needed to hear was the warning about mismanaging the season because you are unwilling to submit to the changes. That was for me. 

What was also for me was a woman telling me the Holy Spirit told her to reassure me of some things I was wrestling with, really all the things. She spoke life over me and prayed for me. Thank you Holy Spirit for reminding me that I am seen and known and not alone. 

(Youtube clip) This whole episode is great, but when Stephanie spoke about how we try to rush through seasons and even use spiritual disciplines to "move" God on our timing. She said we try to pray and fast our way out, that was sooooo on point. If God has something for you to learn in the season there is NOTHING anyone can do to change the course. He will bring your tail right back until you surrender. How do you wait with hope?