Like it was the last time

There is a song by an artist named Alicia Keyes, I think the title is "Never before" or Never again". The lyrics say "Every time you hold me, hold me like it was the last time, every time you kiss me, kiss me like you will never see me again." Lately I saw the movie "The curious case of Benjamin Button", normally I hate the movies, people who know me have seen me get overly emotional with my loud outbursts of laughter, anger, or surprise. Therefore rather then being asked to leave, which has happened a number of times, or people choosing to get up themselves, I just choose to refrain from going. Besides it is a better expense to rent anyway! I bring up the song lyrics and the movie because they both are a real picture of what my brother Solomon was saying so many centuries ago, about enjoying the wife of your youth, enjoying your employment, and the food you eat. The reason being is how transient everything is, we don't know when the last time is for even our own life. For the Jesus lover there is no fear in that of course, but for those who don't know the Lord it is horrific. Benjamin Button was a baby born old, a very original and creative idea I must say, I was highly impressed. Normally I am not. But he grew up in a nursing home physically appearing to be the age of an 80 year old man, so basically he was aging backwards. How "ironic" he grew up around people who were his age as an infant, of course I say "ironic" in quotes because everything is a picture of the sovereign God and how detailed He is as far as truth is concerned. The sad thing is as he is getting younger the people around him are getting older and dying, after a while you just expect it and you lose your sensitivity death. The main point to me was that in a world where everyone is so caught up in preventing aging, no one wants to look older, we try everything to make our mortal decaying bodies, somewhat immortal, and perfect to no avail. The movie showed it is no better the other way either, you will experience death, pain, and heartache. Benjamin started out with the physical issues many of us dread as we get older. I know I hate the fact my knees crack, my back has all kinds of pains, my vision is not getting better, and I am not as physically fit and agile as I once was. It is very disheartening at times, actually I think of it often. There was a line in the movie that a dancer said who had an accident, affected her future career. She said after her time of healing and dpression, " I will never again allow myself to wallow in self pity". I must admit I cried, I knew that was me, for years I have because of different health issues that have really changed my life. I hated it and I just wanted to give up on life and dreams and hopes. How quick we are to do that even as Christians when even when we forget the truth it is always before us. Back to the movie, that was a brief commerical break, Benjamin dies as a baby, but once again with the symptoms of an elderly person; hard of hearing, vision impaired, short term memory loss, etc. There is no getting around it, this truly had me thinking about the people in my life RIGHT NOW, I don't know about tomorrow, and the past is just that. But I don't want to waste my life now, I don't want to miss out on what God is trying to show me now, on what He is doing in the lives of the people around me. We will never get today back, nor yesterday, let's LIVE people, make the most of our lives. From the college dropout, to the one abandoned by there family, Benjamin's dad abandoned him as a baby, he was hideous! But we can't continue to dwell in unforgiveness, past hurts, there is no predicting rejection, and dissapointment and injury or loss, give it to God, all things are redeemable in His hands, there are no accidents, it is all providentially designed to bring about the purpose that God has. Don't allow your past failures, or even fear of the future cause you to miss the point. What is that point you may ask, well like the wisest man in the world once said, " Fear God and obey His commandments, this is the end of the matter."

Where you lead I will follow

"But know that the Lord has dealt wonderfully with the godly man for himself; the Lord hears when I call to Him." Psalms 4:3

God has been teaching me so much about Himself and my sinful self along with how that looks in loving others. I am so grateful to know that God has set me apart for Himself. God is not just arbitrarily taking me through life,, but He is so detailed, and precise. His ways are perfect. Many times i may get down about news i hear, or my hopes are dashed (when i put them in people and not God), and so i may seclude myself or allow my mind to meditate on the circumstance rather than the Controller of the circumstance. God is showing me truly what it means to trust in His plans for me and to seek Him first, stop trusting in my heart (thoughts, intentions, feelings, etc.) and trust in Him, which is different then just trusting Him. My pastor is going through the book of Ecclesiastes and there are some really insightful things I received from this past sermon on Chpt.3. Life really is not worth living without Christ, it is meaningless, and everyone knows it when they have time to reallly thing, mainly right before you go to bed at night, and sometimes you wonder what is the point of it all, and why am I here. The Preacher in Ecclesiastes, is the richest most wisest man in the world at this point, and he is giving this advice to us on how life is apart from God( which is really not life), Jesus said that He came so that we might have life, and have it more abundantly. Ecc. 3:14 says that everything God does will last forever and that the purpose He has placed in man is to fear (reverennce Him). When we do anything else in life other than what the Lor d has given us, or allows we fall flat on our face everytime in some kid of way B/c god is a jealous God (righteously) and he will not give his glory to another. This is called vain glory and you become a thief when you try to take God's glory. I am just thankful That He loves me enough to correct me and protect me (even when I don't want it). my father loves me so much that He has set me apart to reflect the glory He has bestowed upon me and I am so ecstatic as i close this just speaking the truth to myself and not believing the lie, not meditating on untruths and possibilities, being anxious instead of praying. just know that you must always go to the Word (the Bible)for your daily nourishment and nothing else will ever satisfy that hunger in you b/c God created it just for Himself.

God's will

Hello everyone, this is really new for me, I am attempting to have a blog page so it will be easier for you all to know what is going on in my life. Currently I am raisiing support full time, last semester I was in Atlanta, Ga visiting churches and making my needs known. This process has been somewhat of a pleasure for me, surprisingly, going to visit new churches and let them know what I am doing and sending out the many letters. Please continue to pray with me, I am still trying to figure out what God is trying to do in my life. This is the first time I have ever had to leave the campus in four years and it is definitely and adjustment. I look forward to engaging with you on a more continual basis, and I would love for you all to share with me prayer requests as well as concerns or questions that you may have.
May the Spirit of the Lord give you all hope and joy in believing!